By Anja Gehrke-Huy
Yet children encounter death in stories, nature, community life and sometimes within the family. Especially in preschool and primary-school age, they often meet the subject with open eyes and open hearts.
Adults naturally want to protect children from painful experiences, but shielding them from death can mean shielding them from an essential part of life. Honest and protective accompaniment does not mean preventing sadness; it means including children and helping them find an expression for their feelings.
Death and grief are still often treated as taboos, hidden or covered with distraction. Children, however, sense when something is different. They deserve answers, especially when a sibling dies during pregnancy, birth or shortly after birth and the family atmosphere changes.
The article explains that even babies and toddlers cannot cognitively understand death, but they perceive sadness, altered voices, changed faces, smells and touch. At this age, emotional presence, closeness and secure rituals are more important than explanations. Cuddling, daily routines, bedtime stories, songs and beloved stuffed animals can offer orientation in a time of grief.
The author recommends the children’s book Lilly ist ein Sternenkind as a helpful resource when parents cannot find words for a child whose expected sibling has died.
