Death and I
By Juliane Uhl
Friends often react with shock when she says someone died in their house. Her answer is simple: they did it because they could.
Five years earlier, the family brought her mother-in-law and her tumor into their living room. A large care bed stood beside an armchair, and a small private space was created. Clothes were placed in the television cabinet, and sweets were kept near the bed. For five weeks they were able to be there for one another.
During this time the mother-in-law ate, slept and lived. The granddaughter played with the care bed, they drank wine, laughed and shared small acts of care such as foot massages. The period could feel light when they forgot, for a moment, how hard the coming time would be.
The specialized outpatient palliative care team visited daily and supplied both pain medication and honest words. The team explained that death would come and described what dying can mean, which functions would shut down and how dying can sound. Because of this preparation, the family was able to endure the rattling and irregular breathing with less fear.
She died on a Sunday evening, shortly after a crime show, in her son’s home and surrounded by family. The article’s central answer is that dying at home became possible because everyone involved could and dared to accompany it.
